"A Breeze, Huh"? or "Why Packing is Evil"

1) You have to go through everything you own. EVERYTHING.
     a. 30+ years worth. Save me.
     b. Do you see how the handle of that suitcase looks like a sad
         face? He knows what's coming.

2) How the hell do you pick what stays, what gets given away, sold, or tossed?
     a. My cousin: "I want a memento, you hear me?"
     b. Will an old math certificate from eighth grade do?

3) Bending and lifting are not good when you've forgotten you have a bad back.
     a. It all started with a held-in sneeze.
     b. I'm not lying.
 
4) Blowing your back out means you remember how fecking BORING it is to lay in bed all day, even with  your laptop and the internet for entertainment. God forbid that there's anything on the television to catch your attention these days.
     a. You know you're in dire straits when you watch three episodes of
         30-minute meals back-to-back.

5) Not being able to cook means you order in pizza, which isn't helping the six pounds you put back on and set you solidly back into your size 16 pants.
     a. I'm getting sausage pizza.
     b. Don't judge me.

But at least I can catch up on the blog, and the CV that is side-eying me from it's little folder in my documents library....come on, self-confidence!